I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
