i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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