the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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