is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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