why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
