somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize