I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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