She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
