apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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