I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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