omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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