I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
