My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
