Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
