she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize