2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
