I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
