We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
