What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
