He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
