Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize