That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
