i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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