I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize