He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
