We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
