anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
