Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Acid is not a monday night drug
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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