I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
