Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
