She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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