Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
