another moral hangover. fuck.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
