My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
