Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
