At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
