4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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