We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
