How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
