Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
