I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
