so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Four minutes until I can fart!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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