Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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