Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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