If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
