How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
