i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
