I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
