A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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