I'm going to jail i love you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
