not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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