and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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