i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
