Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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