just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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