ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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